Hot Water Woes............................. Again!
What is my problem with hot water? I had trouble again! Yeah, many of you may remember I had been having difficulty maintaining hot water in my former apartment, and was thrilled to move to this new apartment with better services….. like good hot water.
Only time caught up with me again. I had also learned some time back, the hard lesson that to maintain hot water from the common gas heaters required batteries to fire the pilot lights. When I had trouble with hot water months ago, I was embarrassed that a serviceman came by my apartment just to look at me like some kind of dumb American that doesn’t know to change the battery….. Duh!
Well, this time I was ready. Hot water turned cold…… and I had NEW batteries ready! Yes! I was going to lick this thing this time. I am MAN! I can fix anything! Old batteries out….. New “D” batteries IN. Back to the shower…………. No hot water. None! Cold! AHHHHHH!! Now what????
After finally succumbing to the mercy of additional help, I called for another serviceman to come to my new apartment. So in comes another apartment service engineer. He checks the gas heater; seems fine. I proudly show my empty battery box so that he knows I have put in new batteries. He traces the line over the wall about four feet to the meter for the gas entering to my heater. Off comes a cover, and there are more batteries!!! Batteries on the meter too! Give me a break! Who put those there? And here comes that “doesn’t the dumb American know to change the battery” look again!
Of course I didn’t have the four AA batteries required! NO! It took another trip to the store to finally get the gas renewed again! Just my luck. What is it with batteries everywhere!
A Voltron in China????
I came here from Voltron! I’m sure now. I wasn’t so sure until recently. Bill Bryson put me on to the right facts. Reading his book, The Thunderbolt Kid, put everything in perspective. I was left here by aliens just a couple of weeks before they left my more famous travel writer “cousin” Bill. King Voltron was even good enough to put us both with Bryson families.
I’ve long been a fan of Bill’s books, and was looking forward to reading this new book about his growing up in the 50’s. But getting books is not always one of the easiest things to do here in China. Only this time, more than luck was on my side. Passing a book store near my doctor’s office last month in Hong Kong, I spied one of those tickler posters for The Thunderbolt Kid. I had already received emails from Random House that it was to be released on October 17. Well, this was only September. But I was wrong about it being a preview poster. It was advertising the book for sale inside! Yes! They had the book already!! I didn’t know they released on different dates in different countries. And I sure didn’t expect that Hong Kong would be one of the first release locations! But there it was! And soon it was in my hands!
As I was riding the subway to my office, a long ride from Central, I got absorbed in the book. I also got more than a few stares when I started laughing so hard. I literally had tears in my eyes that I could not suppress. I must have looked like a real fool to all the other Hong Kong riders: “What is this weird Westerner doing laughing so hard to himself?” You should have seen their expressions.
What a great book! I only wish I could write half as well as Bill Bryson. He captured things so well. I felt like it was written mostly about my youth, instead of a kid from Iowa. ………. Okay, some of the situations had to have taken place in a town a little bigger than Rutherfordton.
If you want to know anything about growing up during the 50’s or enjoy a good laugh about life during the “happy years”, be sure to read The Thunderbolt Kid,.
For a great tickler about the book, check this VidLit about The Thunderbolt Kid:
http://www.vidlit.com/bryson/
5,000 Visits
I didn’t quite know what I was getting into when I started this blog. Of course, I knew even less of what I was getting into by moving to China. But in making that move of all moves, I had to figure a way to communicate to all of you that kept asking me to write about my life over here. Abrysoninchina.blogspot.com was my little way of figuring out how to do it.
I was certainly new to blogs. And I’m not exactly doing it like the format was originally intended. I guess in some ways, I have been a pioneer in the travel blog category. But it has been fun. I have unique and great experiences over here. It is nice to share with others.
I never knew how many would read. I don’t know if to be surprised or not at today’s new milestone. The little counter will pass 5,000 today. That’s certainly not even close to the hits of a Drudge Report or many of my contemporaries in this field. But I’m always surprised how someone mentions something to me that they could only have learned from the blog. It is always nice to hear that folks do read this drivel I keep writing.
So thanks for visiting! Keep coming back!
Street Scenes in Dahlingshan
Street in Dahlingshan. Market is on the right, with shoe repair vendors on the stools.
Typical street scene in Dahlingshan. Yes, this is the middle of the busy street. I keep asking why they build sidewalks.
Small load on motorcycle near Dongguan City.
The Rain Falls Mainly in Thailand
First they had a coup, now it’s a flood! Great time to show up in Thailand! BTW, the coup ended up being a good opportunity to party. By all accounts, they just made it a holiday and everyone went down to see the military in Bangkok. They even made it a photo opportunity, having their pictures made with tanks and army soldiers.
Anyway, now it’s raining! Or has rained. Mostly in the North. I guess it is pretty bad in a lot of places there. And you never think of a city like Bangkok as being prone to floods, but I guess
it isn’t the first time. They are taking a lot of precautions. All over the country they are diverting overflow into fields to relieve the pressure down stream. They had a lot of big reservoirs for the task, but most of the rains have been below the dams. Typical, huh?
I get into Bangkok tomorrow night. I’m told my hotel is safe. It is the beautiful, incredible hotel where I was so nicely accommodated before. I still look forward to the visit. Nothing like a warm personal greeting in a strange city.
The airport should be safe. It has moved. It is an incredible new modern facility to the south of the city. I stayed at a new Novotel there the other night. Beautiful, luxurious place, but just a little too far from anything else to enjoy. None of the pleasures of the shops and night life of Bangkok proper. They also say the new airport is haunted. It is getting quite a lot of press about that. Seems that some of the land had cemeteries, and they feel the spirits are still there. All I saw were these big multi-colored oriental guards.
So back to Bangkok. And to China on Sunday. Man, I’m on the move. Next month it’s
the USA again, but somehow I got to get back to Thailand before that trip again. I’m
getting tired thinking about it!
To Thailand Again!
I'm off to Thailand tomorrow. First stop is Hong Kong for some appointments during the day on Wednesday, and then I'm into Bangkok for the night. On Thursday through Saturday I will be around our factory in Chonburi. Saturday night I stay in Bangkok before returning through Hong Kong on Sunday.
My Hong Kong phone number (+852 6535 7553) will be in effect on those days, and hopefully my Thailand phone number will work when in the country there (I believe it's +66 015785451).
A Talent Show for the Moon Festival
Red lanterns and a full moon! The waterfall and ponds brightly lit. Even lanterns in the chicken pen! It’s Mid-Autumn Festival time again! I’m even beginning to recognize repeat events. I remember this from last year. Dongguan has double red lanterns hanging from between every tree that lines the avenues. And that’s a lot of lanterns. There must be trees every 20 feet in this big city. To make it more interesting they blocked off part of “Bar Street”, which is close to my new apartment and put up a big stage for bands and entertainment. They dubbed it an Oktoberfest within the Mid-Autumn Festival. The music usually ended by 10 PM, but you didn’t want to try to watch TV during that period. It has been pretty loud.
Decca turned to a favorite event: a talent contest. It was incredible. The production was fascinating, and the talent was far better than I expected. On Wednesday night, we traversed our way a couple of blocks within Dahlingshan after a big buffet. The meal included a huge spread of food and the usual compliment of toasts of Great Wall red wine. The venue was a big theater rented out for the main event.
The stage was brilliantly festooned with a matron in the background and strings of the season’s red lanterns. I warmed up the crowd by motioning all to wave to me from different sections of the theater as I took group photos from my front row section. They seemed to get a kick out of it. I felt like the crazy Westerner in a lost Asian movie.
Soon there were contestants dancing and wailing to music of the region. It was quite entertaining. Xiao Pan and Eric greeted the crowd and emceed their way through the evening’s itinerary. They were amazingly cool and calm in front of the crowd of almost 1,000. They even kept the audience calm through a few technical glitches, you know, the usual microphone cutouts and wrong music inherent in such productions.
In between contestants, the judges rated the performances holding cards like at a diving competition. It was cool. And the crowd was unbelievable. Many had whistles, and freely expressed themselves. Some even had banners for their favorite performers. When I arrived, I was intrigued as to why several of the girls from our office had big bouquets of flowers. Their purpose soon became apparent. During each performance, members of the audience would come by the girls on the front row to get a bouquet and take to the performer on the stage. As each performer exited, the flowers were rotated for reuse. Cool! Nice way to honor. Of course, there were a couple of occasions where the entertainer could barely see over their bouquets. But none were ever dropped.
The guards even had an act. I couldn’t figure why so many Decca guards were backstage before the performance. Soon a brigade of over 20 were marching across the stage and did a beautiful military-like song. Of course, I didn’t know any of the music.
Raymond swooned his way through one of the first numbers. He was decked in a beautiful silk oriental shirt. Several of the judges did a song, but that was after the official competition. I guess they have been dubbed “professional” status and were ineligible for the event. And mind you, this was about the fourth of many stages of this competition, which had been held for weeks now in the employees’ quarters. Ah Sing performed a beautiful love song, and I had to make way for his wife Catherine to take a bouquet of flowers to him. She even got a kiss. Simon ended the performances with a beautiful oriental song, with a comfortable style and presence.
By the end, everyone was a winner. There had been many prizes and gifts awarded, including several big televisions and DVD players. They even got me on stage for the grand finale. I couldn’t read the words too well though!
Simon closing the event.
One of the performing dance groups.
Me with the flower girls before the competition!
A Massage to Remember .........................
by Ed Sorenson
Recently, Ed and I had one of those memorable events in life that come along not so frequently. Being a former journalist, Ed requested the chance to contribute to my travelblog with this rendition of the days’ events. He has a great writing style and captured the day pretty accurately, although maybe not exclusively fair….. (my blog – I can say that.) Thanks Ed. Enjoy!
Two Americans and a Chinese massage parlor, what could go wrong? My host Gene had been absolutely charming showing off the attractions of Dongguan City – fountains, gardens, parks and the city architecture were all very impressive. And what better way to cap off the day than with a massage?
No question, it did sound good. Gene was hosting me through work for the past week and I had no reason to doubt how good this experience would be. So with an innocent mind and good intentions, I was off for my first massage experience.
As we entered the lobby of the new Noble Spa at the New World B. Kinghan Leisure Club, greeting hostesses chorused: “Hello!” That was about the extent of the English spoken. Nice smiles, a hand-gestures or two and Gene had us pointed in the right direction. He’s quite the linguist – right?
We were shuffled off to large, exposed and scientifically-lit locker room with an oval bench in the middle of the walkway, and about six/seven attendants on hand to assist. Strip? Yes, we forked over all our clothes and these chaps neatly gave them the white-glove treatment, stored them, locked up our belongings and presented us with some rubber sandals (two-sizes too small) and a numbered wristband. Of course the homophobe “radar” came on immediately – like who was the last naked dude sitting on this bench and why am I looking at Gene and his “boys”?
Laughingly, we flopped our way down a flight of marble stairs to a rather expansive and empty spa area. Six 30-foot spas with different water temperatures and televisions stretched along the back wall of the room. Gene and I were instructed to shower first, and then pointed towards a station to brush our teeth and shave. Afterwards, Gene asked: “Massage?” Close, we thought, as we were pointed to the hot tubs for a water-bubble massage. I guess it was a massage. Getting into the pool was a challenge in modesty, for the water was barricaded by a three-foot high and wide marble rim. Naked, I just wanted to torpedo in like a seal, but I daintily straddled my 6-foot-4 frame over the wall without having my butt touch the slick marble surface. What was even more entertaining, just 3-feet away Gene scaled the wall for the bubbly right next to me – NOT!
Uncomfortable with bubble enigma, I evacuated with three attendants pointing me into a 20-foot diameter, 20-foot tall, glass chamber? It looked like the “beam me up” station right out of Star Trek. Odd, I thought, but OK I was game. They shut the door and 3,000 pressure-washer paced streams of water hit me from every axis of 360 degrees. Tingly, especially when they tried to shove Gene in there with me – I was so out of there. My personal bubble had been so violated.
After Gene’s turn, he again requested in his best Mandarin “Massage?” The attendants signaled us to the right. Behind door number one a sauna, door two laid a steam bath and number three featured a shower head three-feet wide by six-feet long. Going with flow, I chose door number three – I chose wrong!
Two attendants gowned only in droopy plaid boxers catered us to separate stalls. The cubical stall had a granite massage table in the middle directly below a bizarre shower head. With a clap and courteous smile, I was instructed to lie face up on the table. With a death-grip on my towel, I mounted the funky surface. Then the fun began. The little dude donned these green sandpaper mittens and started meticulously squirting and scrubbing my burly upper torso. Casually, I called over to Gene, “Do you know what we’re in for here?” All I got was a chuckle, then sarcasm and jokes flew as these dudes literally wet-sanded our bodies into a pink aura – lovely. If that wasn’t bad enough, after intruding on all body cracks and crevasses (and I do mean all – but I was a little tightly flinched for protection…. If ya know what I mean……..), they poured this milky crap over us and retreated to a box full of sand for some true delight – a handful of raw mineral sprinkle on every open pore of our bodies. How special! With the burning sensation of salt on a slug, the remedy was fascinating too.
To complete the humiliation (so we thought) the dudes draped us in wet towels and began playing the bongos on our buttocks and backs. Gene and I are both big boys with lots musical scale note areas on our bodies (something I did know about myself – thanks Gene). For about 10 minutes, the boys went slap happy on us like a pair of island natives trying to summon King Kong.
We were in hysterics by then, just when I thought it was over, I get shuffled into another stall for a power rinse. Face down; stark-naked on the granite, “kapoosh!”…………. a 1,000 gallons of water douches me instantly. Round one, it’s over…………. Nope again, but this time they tried to shove Gene in there with me. What the ______? I’m face-to-face with Gene’s boys – are you kidding me? They pull Mr. Buff out of my face and I’m finally done. Gene gets his turn at the power wash waterfall rinse, and off we went to the showers again. ……… “What was that?” A total body exfoliation, bonus! And we got charged extra for it too!
Next we hit the dryers – a personal fiberglass stall, see-through of course, with three 12-inch diameter aglow in nuclear red. I definitely had some shrinkage as everything retracted into my tummy for protection. Dry, sort of, an attendant pulled out this tube that looked like a white cigar case and unrolled a pair of white paper panties, right………... I got them about 1/3 of the up my leg and turned to Gene, “What do you think?” as they were stretched to capacity. You should have seen Gene try these on…….. What a hoot. After that failed for him too, they issued us a pair of navy blue boxers and a robe top at least two sizes too small. I looked like Chris Farley in Tommy Boy – “Fat guy in little coat!”
With our extra large frames covered, ….. barely, we were paraded to a lounge area. We reclined in to our own dentist-like chairs with plasma TVs on a chrome swivel and built-in stereo into the headrest. ……… Cool, ……except when you are trying to order a beer and Chinese tea from a waitress that doesn’t speak a lick of English. Half hour later, with 7-to-10 host and hostesses trying to translate we still we’re without our beverages. But the good news was we were on our way to the masseuses after 90 minutes of bodily violations.
The massage itself was conducted quite professionally by two women whose combined weight was about as much as my right leg. I was oiled, elbowed and kneed into relaxation. I guess it was okay if you like having your organs pushed from one side your body cavity to the other. Actually, I felt kind of sorry for my masseuse; she worked up quite a sweat as I lay there like a beached porpoise (I mean killer whale).
You have heard the expression, “I feel like a new man,”……….. Well this experience has definitely given it new meaning. Around town that evening Gene kept getting asked how he had gotten sunburn. Nope……. No sunburn….. but after getting five layers of dead skin scraped from your body, we were definitely new men!
Thanks Gene for a massage to remember (and unfortunately I’ll never forget),
Ed
PS – I did search the internet and yes our fears are true: Uncensored Web Cam – Yanks Exposed has been published worldwide :0)
