A Bryson in China

Restaurant Woes

Getting good service in restaurants in China is another one of those challenges of everyday life. Of course, I shouldn’t complain too much, because I can’t speak their language, but I gotta relate some of the service shortcomings and experiences that confront you on a daily basis here.

The first thing that makes service shortcomings ironic is the fact that there are so many waiters and waitresses in restaurants. Remember now that labor is not too expensive here, so owners seem to be obsessed with quantity of wait staff over quality of the staff. Go anywhere, and you have two people just opening doors for you and then hordes more service staff everywhere.

Now, let me back up right here, and state that most of this is a biased report. It’s based on me being a Westerner, and from my expectation in restaurants that are trying to serve Westerners. So on the other hand, I think I’m relating what is expected by my fellow comrades, and hear it from so many others on a regular basis. And that even goes for those that speak the local language and converse with the waiters in their own language. But it may be that the service I’m describing is desirable to locals.

Nonetheless, you would think that most of these restaurants catering to Westerners would have staff that can speak English. Wrong. If they do it’s often not very good, and is usually isolated to just a few staff members that try to run things and take all the orders. They usually get overworked and are not so good at translation.

“Mice Meat Anyone”

Take our visit to a new Indian restaurant the other night. The lead waitress that spoke fair English came over to take our order and impressively started into a list of the specials recommended for the night. My associate, Mitchell, speaks fluent Mandarin, so she was switching back and forth some between her broken English and Mandarin. Well, you can imagine the double take I had on my face when she mentioned one of the specials: “mice meat”. My jaw must came close to dropping to the table, as I stared at her with a pained expression, trying to decipher if she had really meant what she said. I must admit here, I haven’t been to too many Indian restaurants, and I’ve heard a lot of indescribable dishes being served in this continent.

Mitchell immediately went to flipping through the pages of the menu, and soon interrupted her from proceeding to provide an English lesson: “It’s pronounced mince meat, not mice” as he stated more politely than I can convey here. She blushed and corrected herself. I at least was able to stay and eat in the restaurant.

It was pretty good actually. Wonder what meat it was minced from anyway?

Clear the Table

One of the most irritating things to me around restaurants here is how the staff has good intentions but just doesn’t quite get it. And I figure one of the main reasons for that is really (going back to that earlier point), because there are too many wait staff. The bad thing with this, is that there are so many that they are constantly trying to find something to do. So they stand in the background like vultures waiting for the kill. As soon as you give any inkling you may be finished or nearly finished with something………………. ATTACK! They come in swooping for the kill and snatch away your plate or glass. Woe is ye if you dare to want to suck on the last swill of that beer or scrape the dish with some bread.

And speaking of bread, they seem to think it’s only for the appetizer or soup course. Again, woe is ye if you save some for the main course. Oh no! It’s gone. They come swooping in as soon as they see that spoon drop from your soup dish, and swipe, before you’ve had a chance to defend it, the bread is gone too!

The other night I was sipping a nice drink in Hong Kong. Finished and getting ready to pay the bill, I was savoring that last of the ice as it melted in the glass. But oh no………… Swoosh! Before I could speak a waiter had it gathered and it was gone.

And remember my story about iced tea the other week. For whatever reason, you always get offered another mixed drink or beer, but forget it with iced tea. Why would you ever want another? I guess that’s there reasoning anyway. So they generally….. only generally mind you….. let you keep that iced tea glass a little longer. But get a beer or mixed drink near the bottom, and here they come. I’ve even seen ‘em tag team ya too. One diverts your attention asking if you want another, and SWOOSH away goes the glass by another waiter. “Well, I guess I do want a little more to drink, now that I don’t have anything.”

Turning Tables

One of the last irritants can actually be quite nice at times. It is certainly a contrast from US restaurants. In fact, it is the style in the US that is probably more bothersome. What am I talking about………… I’m talking about paying the bill, or at least trying to pay the bill.

In the US, paying a bill is treated like they treat cleanup of tables in China. SWOOSH, you get that last dish, and that bill is coming whether you want to take another five minutes to finish eating or not. Heck, in many places in the US you will get the bill before you get the food. The restaurant wants that table turned and you are in the seat they wanna give to someone else. That’s the American Way.

Not in China. No, they are much like Europeans here, in that you can probably stay in your seat all night and no one will push you out until closing. I don’t think they know what “table turns” are over here.

But the trouble sometimes with that is that when you do want to leave you may find yourself waiting a while to get out the door. Don’t ask me why, but they just take their time then. They’ve probably swiped all the plates and glasses from your table already, but don’t expect that check too quickly. Of course part of this is the insecurity of management for their staff. So everyone has a very distinct and different function in the process. The waitress has to find someone that can actually write the check or bill; and then when ya pay, he/she has to find someone else to accept it and record and get your change or receipt. It all takes time. So plan on it taking some time….

But don’t think you’re gonna suck on the last of those ice cubes in your drink. The table has been cleared!

posted by A Bryson (formerly) in China @ 12:26 PM Comments: 0